Doesn’t Hallmark have an e-card for that?

by Heather on May 4, 2006

Flipping through the channels recently, I caught a commercial for Always maxi pads. Their new catch phrase, so skillfully woven around the product name, goes like this:

“Have a happy period. Always.”

That’s exactly how I would describe it. A happy time. Granted, with the exception of the five solid weeks of bleeding after having Autumn, I haven’t had my period in about sixteen months and could be considered out of the loop in respect to how one feels when Auntie Flo visits.

Upon visiting the Always website, I was greeted with a flashy little poem that so perfectly sums up that “happy” time:

This is the time of month chocolate was created for.
This is the time when no toenail should go unpolished.
When the gym will get along just fine without you.
This is the time when, if something is even slightly annoying,
the world should know about it.
And if you feel like crying,
there is no inappropriate time or place.
It’s your period.
You have the right to make it the best
period it can possibly be.
And we’re here to help.
Have a happy period. Always.

 

Um, yeah. I wonder if there was even a woman in the room when this little ditty was penned. I prefer this version:

This is the time of the month to inhale a whole half gallon of
cookie dough ice cream.

This is the time when no smart remark from your
husband should go unpunished.

When the kids will get along just fine without you.

This is the time to wish you were a man so that you could, just once,
have a day in which you didn’t have to think. At all.

And if you feel like smacking someone upside the head, do it
with the knowledge that they probably deserve it.

It’s your period.

You have the right to make everyone around you miserable.

And we’re here to help.

Have a period. At least until menopause.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 lovemydox 05.05.06 at 11:41 am

That is so funny! TOO true!

2 Anthony 05.11.06 at 8:47 am

Perfect! Although I have no perspective on the issue, it doesn’t keep me from having an opinion.

How a marketing firm could put out such nonsense is beyond me. The insulting part (to women, I assume) is that it is supposed to appeal to them and encourage them to buy the product.

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